Cappuccino Thoughts 112: On How to Move to New York
And why I won't be moving back to California
Cappuccino Thoughts is a weekly newsletter about culture and creativity in New York.
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As I write this, I’m sitting on the veranda of one of my best friend’s spacious two-bedroom apartment in sunny Los Angeles. The birds are chirping, there’s not a cloud in the sky, palm trees are swaying.
And I feel so claustrophobic.
Being from California, I am always asked by people on both coasts if I plan to move back. Obviously, the weather is way better and the approach to life is more relaxed. But the truth is, I feel a little trapped when I’m in California.
Though I hate to admit it, a pretty big reason for this is that I don’t drive. After nearly ten years of putting it off, I finally buckled down and passed my driver’s test a couple months ago (second time’s the charm). But, though the state of New York has deemed me an acceptable driver, I still don’t feel comfortable. I’ve never driven alone. I can’t imagine getting on a highway. I have an invitation to go to Vermont later this spring, but it would mean driving myself. When I told my mother I thought I could handle the rural roads of Vermont, she kindly said, “Can’t you go with a friend?”
In New York, everything I need is within three blocks: grocery store, post office, pharmacy, hospital, the best coffee in the city, the best bagels, excellent Thai and sushi. Add another ten blocks and there are diners, Michelin star restaurants, a beautiful park, the river, and so on. The proximity of it all makes me feel free.
Have you ever arrived in a city and just felt, “Wow, this is my place”? I’ve been lucky enough to feel it twice in my life. First, in Paris, at 13. It was almost like I had been there before. I felt spiritually comfortable, even amidst everything being foreign. Then at 15, I felt it in New York. With both of these places, I always had a sense deep in my bones that I would be back. Moving to New York after college in many ways felt like a given, even though I hadn’t been to the city in two Covid-ravaged years.
If you, too, feel in your bones that NYC is where you belong, here are some ways you can plot your move here:
Work
Get a job here.
Get a job wherever you are with a company that has an office in NYC and invent a reason why you have to move here. (That’s what I did!)
Come to New York with a remote job or freelance clients. This is what seemingly the entire population of Greenpoint does.
Come here with zero freelance clients or job offers. Hit the streets. Go to every event you can and talk with three new people each time. Get really clear on what you’re looking for and master your pitch. New York, like many places, is a network-driven city, and people are often willing to help.
Living
While you’re looking for your permanent place, you can sublet an apartment. Everyone’s always on the move here. Ask your friends to ask their friends.
To get your own apartment, go on Streeteasy and relentlessly refresh. This is the main website New Yorkers use. New York renters are fierce and you need to treat it like your full-time job for a few weeks. You need to have first month’s rent, last month’s rent, a security deposit, and application fees ready to hand over. In 2023, the average New Yorker paid $13,000 in upfront costs to move into a new apartment. Plan accordingly.
You will also need proof of a job with 40x your monthly income or a guarantor.
Previously, New Yorkers were subject to paying broker’s fees that were often 15% of the first year’s rent. However, in June, these fees will be outlawed.
Social
Come here with lots of friends.
Come here with no friends (this is more or less what I did). Volunteer with a local non-profit, join your school’s alumni network, go to the same coffee shop every day and talk to your barista, plan events with open invites, take up a niche hobby. Eventually, you will meet your people.
Come here and know that it might take 6-12 months before it feels like home.
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Thank you to everyone who came to the LA pop-up! I loved bringing the brand to the West Coast.
I’m also looking for West Coast retailers. If you have any favorite stores here, let me know!
I have never put myself as the look of the week before and TBH idk if I will again. What do you think???
But I loved this ballet-inspired outfit.
The top is from Anthropologie from years ago, but this cute set would also do the trick.
I got my tutu in a vintage store in Singapore, but something like this or this would look good.
Vintage leather jacket that I took from my father-in-law. This is gorgeous for a vegan option or this is nice for a lower price point.
Vintage leather bag from Paris. Might I recommend one of my bags?
My favorite Rothy’s. I have been wearing this brand since high school and I still believe they’re the comfiest city shoe.
I was so excited for Dream Count by Chimamandah Ngozi Adichie because her previous novel, Americanah, is one of my favorite books. I begged my librarian to let me know when Dream Count would be in so I could be the first one to read it. Sadly, I was a little disappointed. It’s about four women in Nigeria and the United States. I found one of their storylines immensely compelling—based on real events between a Guinean-born maid who accused a French politician of assault. I felt like the author wanted to focus on this story, but maybe because she thought she needed the novel to be more fictionalized, she added additional characters. These other storylines fell flat. Also, the book begins during the pandemic lockdowns and I realized I am still not ready to read anything pandemic-related. I’d give this novel a pass and re-read Americanah instead.
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This week, I am in San Francisco visiting my fam and eating good burritos for the first time in months, thank god. California does do a few things better than New York.
All my best,
“The proximity of it all makes me feel free.” Exactly!